Gray Ghosts: August 2006

Facial Recognition

This thing says I look like these people...riiight.

Please bare in mind the camera and steroids have added approx. 10lbs. to my face and neck region. Therefore I do not know how accurate this comparison is. Do not attempt to use it for scientific purposes. (Plus I just woke up when Mike snapped this pic and I need my slut stripes touched up.)

I wonder what it is measuring...the symetry of my eyes? The mega fatness of my cheecks? The non existent upper lip? I know many peeps don't like their portrait taken, I am at the top of that list, but this is nutty. I do not look like any of these beautiful women. Rosie O'Donnel, Rosanne Bar, even Star Jones. I could see it comparing me to those faces but I doubt the system even has those mugs in it's data base. GEE...I can't imagine why not.

Nextime I will do my hair and make up...maybe even leave my oxygen tube plugged in.

New photo software...

I have been fooling around with some pics...

We had a garage sale last weekend and gutted the house in the process. Mike found some $100 photo software he bought me ages ago. Microsoft Digital Image Suite 10. Whatever that means. I do not know whatI am doing, but it is fun to mess around. Here's a pic or two I have edited:

Technical Difficulties...

So I have been F ing with my template.

It seems I have done something odd to it. I have lost my right sidebar. My blog roll, my flickr badge, all sorts of goodies. Please bear with me until my personal designer has the time to fix it for me. Thank you for your patience.

Dahlia pics

Here are some of the many pictures I took yesterday. Enjoy!

Here are a few of my most favorites. (click to enlarge)

Happy Berfday to ME!

I turned 31 today peeps...WORD.

They asked me what I wanted and I said flowers.

So, we went to the Swan Island Dahlia festival! They are the largest grower of dahlias in the United States. Dahlias are me favorite favorite flower. There are a bazillion varieties and sizes from 1 in. pompoms to 12+ in. dinner plate styles.

Mom, HooHa & Rhiannon rode with me and we met Patsy my othermother and my cousin and her fella there. Rewind and I rode my scooter around the farm and through the exibit hall taking over 200 pictures and picking out the flowers we want to plant next year.

There were booths with food and flowers and stuff. There was kettle corn and a beautiful koi pond. There were dogs, a gorgeous Ibizan Hound and a WEIMARANER! I didn't get any pics of the dogs, but here are a few of my favorites from the day.

(Click on the pictures to enlarge them.)

HooHa and my new baby.

Rhiannon looking sweet.

I will post some more pictures of my favorite flowers later...Cheaters is about to come on and I gotta watch that shit!

Strict Machine

I'm in love with a strict machine...

Weird hunh? I know but I love it. It's Goldfrapp, I just discovered them. I heard the song on the new commercials for this season of Nip/Tuck and then I heard it again on a Verizon phone commercial. RAD.

Happy Birthday!

3 of my bestest buds celebrate their births today 8/20. Alas they are all dirty Leos and not sweet Virgos like moi. Why they couldn't wait exaclty 1 week to be born on my birthday, I will never know. Rude, yes, but I love them just the same...

One of them likes big boobies...

One of them likes cowboys, especially ones without shirts...

And one likes Brad Pitt, especially Brad Pitt NEKID! (Who doesn't?)

Happy 31st, 53rd, and 35th birthday's (not necessarily in that order) to Tilla, Stacey & Christy! You are all very near and dear to my heart and I hope you have a wonderfull new year! You deserve it. I LuVs Ya!

SNAKES on COCAINE!

They let the fame go to their tiny little reptile brains...

Outside the Viper Room later that night...

Will you still love me tomorrow...

WOW!
(I stole it from here.)

My best buds...

On the best day of my life!

I'm bored...

So take this meaningless poll...

SWEETEST. POST. EVER.

Just stole this gem from Tits McGee, is this rad or what. NOW DO IT!

If you read this, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of YOU and ME.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog or whatever and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

No abortion I ever had cost $1,5000...that's highway robbery. Just sayin'.

Cheaters!

My new FAVORITE FAVORITE show...Cheaters!

Here in my town it is on Sunday's at midnight. It's so friggin' aswesome, like COPS for adulterers instead of tweakers! Here is a synopsis of an episode...

BOB HAMIL
Lately Bob has noticed that his girlfriend, Lacy, has been acting weird. He isn’t sure if she’s trying to phase him out of her life, or if she’s shutting down and turning away. He feels he can’t communicate with her like he used to. Lacy is unemployed, but Bob does not think that she’s taking advantage of him by letting his money support them both. She helps around the house and makes sure it’s cleaned up when he gets home, but she seems to be taking her time finding another job. For the past four or five months, the relationship has definitely been different. Bob recalls when he and Lacey were walking through a mall about six months ago. They had been dating two and a half years at that time, and when they passed a jewelry store, Bob suggested that they go inside to check out wedding rings. He wanted to gauge her reaction, but she didn’t give him very positive feedback. She kept walking and changed the subject, which made Bob feel like maybe she wasn’t interested in long term and was just killing time with him. Bob contacted Cheaters because he can’t keep living his life in ignorance. If something is going on, he needs to know the truth. He cares too much about Lacey to be treated this way. The surveillance shows Lacy meeting the same gentleman, Rob English, on several occasions, locking lips and cozying up. After seeing the truth captured on a hidden camera, Bob confronts the pair on a restaurant patio. The men fight on the street and on a city bus before Rob walks away from Bob and the Cheaters crew. Lacy leaves alone.

This is Joey Greco, the host of the show. He is your best friend and confidant. He want's you to know the truth...no matter how bad it hurts, you deserve to know. He's wack! The dude has gone to jail for not leaving a restauruant when asked. He has been stabbed by angry cheaters that don't appreciate being caught. He is a martyer for the cause! Do you suspect your lover of cheating? Go to the website! They'll hook you up! You can even get Cheaters merchandise and shit and become a "member" (I sadly am NOT) and get exclusive info & shit, I dunno...Hell they even got a dating service for the broken hearted!!! YOU NEED TO SEE THIS SHIT! Here are the Air Times for your area.

I even ordered the box set! 24 episodes of ass whooping! UNCENSORED! Scumbags gettin' what they deserve! I LOVE IT! God Bless Reality T.V.!

Oh and I found this for Mayor while is was looking for pics of cheaters...she of all people will appreciate it! I gotta get her riled up for the new season!

***GO SEAHAWKS!!! ***GO GREEN BAY!!! *** F the REST!!!***

It's all about me.

Stole this from the Lady Muck

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	DogMa
Birthday:	8-27-75
Birthplace:	Orygun, P town
Current Location:	East P town
Eye Color:	Hazely Green
Hair Color:	Brown with Slut Stripes of Blonde
Height:	5'8'' or 9'' on a good day...
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Rosco
Your Weakness:	Kids & Dogs.
Your Fears:	Dying Slowly
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Loose 40-50lbs.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up:	How late is it?
Your Best Physical Feature:	My feet.
Your Bedtime:	Psssht riiight.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Playing with my friends in the neighborhood
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi, but I prefer Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Taco Bell
Single or Group Dates:	Single, It doesn't matter really to me.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Diet Arizona Peach or Green Tea all day baby.
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolatte
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Coffee with lotsa cream and Splenda
Do you Smoke:	I wish
Do you Swear:	Fuck yeah.
Do you Sing:	Not anymore
Do you Shower Daily:	No. I AM BEING HONEST! I don't DO ANYTHING to get stinky. Every other day works.
Have you Been in Love:	Sure am.
Do you want to go to College:	Been there done that more than once...
Do you want to get Married:	I just did.
Do you belive in yourself:	I do.
Do you think you are Attractive:	Sorta.
Are you a Health Freak:	Fug...I'm trying.
Do you get along with your Parents:	ABSOLUTLY.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	YES!
Do you play an Instrument:	The skin flute.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	1 or more Bloody Mary's I imagine.
In the past month have you Smoked:	I wish.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	I ate some toast with Cannibutter on it...didn't do much.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Sorta
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	FUCK NO.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	HELL I wish. They are my fave, but alas they are forbidden.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	YES! I ate octopus, tuna, salmon, and smlet roe!
In the past month have you been on Stage:	nah
In the past month have you been Dumped:	I take them...wait whats the question?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	NEVER IN MY LIFE.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Yes. Humming bird food. WHAT?
Ever been Drunk:	Duh...
Ever been Beaten up:	No, I do the ass kicking thank you.
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes.
How do you want to Die:	Fast and in my sleep.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Alive.
What country would you most like to Visit:	New Zealand
*more bollocks..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Green
Favourite Hair Color:	Brown
Short or Long Hair:	Short
Height:	tall
Weight:	yes
Best Clothing Style:	none
Number of Drugs I have taken:	7 not prescribed to me...and too many legal ones to count.
Number of CDs I own:	I steal my music off the web like a good American.
Number of Piercings:	4
Number of Tattoos:	2
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	too many to list, but 2 or 3 big ones I'd like to take back.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Mommy Blogging

Rhiannon took some pics of Fish tonight

She is a genuine photohound! I can't believe she is only 4. We are fixing up our first digital camera to give to her to practice with. Cheaper to print off the pics here than get them developed at Wallgrens! Fisher met another Weim girl at the dog park today. She was stunning. Taller and much more slender than my Peaches. It has motivated us to get back on the wagon and loose some weight! Just look at these rolls!

Like my coral toes?
We then took it to the hot tub and splashed it up a bit. I am teaching her to float on her back. She's a waterbug. Fisher was pretty upset. She doesn't like me to give any attention to anyone but her. She settled down after a bit and just licked at the water and watched us longingly...

There's a little pic I took I like to call "SlutHound". Seriously, that is how she sleeps on the couch. On her back, spread out like a little whore, showing her goodies to the world. Mama's girl.

My Backyard.

Here in the Pacific N.W. we don't have to worry about hurricuns or tornaders or earthquakes.
We have VOLCANIC EPISODES...

This may be a pic of MT. St. Helens in Washington state, (I was just informed it looked like Mt.Ranier and #2 looked like a mountain in Alaska) just a hop, skip & a jump away from me. She has been experiencing some gastrointestinal difficulties these last few months. I remeber when she blew back in 81. I had to wear a mask everytime we went outside and mom had to shovel ash so we could get outta the driveway. It was like a nuclear winter.

I'm not scared of an eruption. Sure it will happen one day. Mt Hood is actually closer to me, but she hasn't spoken up in a long long time. All mountains have seismic activity now and then, but we don't (I don't) live in fear on the big one happening...again.

Be sure to click on the pictures to get a better view!

My Dear Pets...

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Sassy Bin Laden & Fisher P. Lovebone,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food
and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine or feline
attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the another dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

And Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Blogging Blahs

I wish my lungs were this pretty...

I can't think of anything to blog about these days...
We have gutted the house preparing for a garage sale. That is good. My life is so full of clutter, this will be a welcome change. I am feeling run down and I think my capacity for exertion has dwindled. Thats not so good. Breathing should not be something you worry about, let alone think about...

No sir, things sure haven't turned out the way we thought they would now have they? I am not speaking only for myself, I'm just ruminating on our lives in general. For example. This month (in 17 days) I shall turn 31. *GASP* It's the downhill slide from here on out. I am officialy elderly and boy don't I fucking feel like it. (Especially when I have to stop 1/2 way down the hallway on my way to the bathroom to rest for a spell.) See the way I had it planned, I was gonna be having kid #2 right about now and getting kid #1 ready for kindergarten. Most of my friends had their spawn early and for that I am greatfull. It has allowed me to watch them grow and become little people. I love them one and all, as if they were my own because infact they are the closest thing I have at the moment to kids of my own. (Until my sister has my baby...I mean her baby) SO yeah, life had other plans for me I guess. Sure it's dissapointing when shit goes all cockeyed on you and life throws you a big fat curve ball. Like oh say, a deathly illness or a divorce or a scortching case of herpes. My point is...it's not the end of the world. You are allowed a "grace period" to feel sorry for yourself...and thats it. There is too much to do and too many people depending on you to let it go on too long. I let myself feel sorry for the cards I got dealt a little everyday, but then I gotta get over it. The dog needs feeding and the tomatos need wattering. They would die without me...(at least I tell myself they would, they aren't human children, but they keep me going.)

Ah. I also worry about my friend. I hope she is gonna be alright. I love her.
Wish we could go back to the good old days. NOT WAY BACK! Just you know...4 years maybe? I dunno. (Too far back could be disasterous!) Hopefully things will look up soon. We have people counting on us.

Like this day...
(Sorry I was late, I'll probably be late to my own funeral!)

Amazingly Accurate...

Latest Polling Shows Bush Losing Core Supporters

WASHINGTON June 15 - President Bush appears to be losing support among a key group of voters who until now have stood firmly with the president.

A new Gallup poll shows that Bush's approval rating has fallen below 50% and now stands at just 44% among total fucking morons. This represents a dramatic drop compared to a poll taken just last December when 62% of total fucking morons expressed support for the president and his policies.

The current poll, conducted by phone with 1,409 total fucking morons between June 4 and June 8, reveals that only 44% of those polled believe the president is doing a good job, while 27% believe he is doing a poor job, and 29% don't understand the question.

Faltering approval ratings for the president among a group once thought to be a reliable source of loyal support makes Republicans nervous about the upcoming mid-term elections.

"We've got a big problem if we can't depend on the support of total fucking morons," says Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Total fucking morons are a key factor in our electoral strategy, and an important part of today's Republican coalition."

"We've taken the total fucking moron vote for granted," says Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), "and now we're paying for it." Feeney says the poll is a dire warning for Republicans. "This should send a signal that we have to regain control of the debate if we want the support of our key constituencies in the coming election and beyond. We need to bring public discourse back into the realm of stupidity and vacuity. We should be talking about homosexual illegal immigrants burning flags. We should be talking about the power of pride. We should be talking about freedom fries. These are the issues that resonate with total fucking morons."

But some total fucking morons say it's too late. Bill Snarpel of Enid, Oklahoma is a total fucking moron who voted for Bush in both 2000 and 2004.

But he says he won't be voting for Bush in 2008. "I don't like it that he was going to sell our ports to the Arabs. If the Arabs own the ports then that means they'll let all the Arabs in and then we'll all be riding camels and wearing towels on our heads. I don't want my children singing the Star Spangled Banner in Muslim."

Total fucking moron Kurt Meyer of Turlock, California also says his once solid support for Bush has collapsed. "He invaded Iraq and all those soldiers died, and for what? We destroyed all their WMDs, but now their new president is making fun of us and saying he's going to build nuclear bombs and that we can't stop him. Well, nuclear bombs are even worse than WMDs, so what did we accomplish?"

Laura McDonald, a total fucking moron from Chandler, Arizona, says she is disappointed that the president hasn't been a more forceful advocate of Christian values. "This country was founded on Christian values," she says, "but you'd never know it with all the Mexicans running around. I thought Bush was going to bring Jesus back into the government. Instead, Christians are persecuted worse than ever before in history because all these Mexicans come here and tell Christians that we have to respect their religious beliefs. So now it's illegal for children to pray in school. Soon it will be illegal for them to speak English."

Not all total fucking morons have turned their backs on the president. Jeb Larkin of Topeka, Kansas says he still fully supports Bush. "He is doing a great job. He is a great president. He is a great decider. I have a puppy. His tail sticks straight up and you can see his butthole."

And not all Republican lawmakers are concerned about the poll, Sen. Lamar Alexander (R- TN), for one. He agrees that the Republican party should not take total fucking morons for granted, but he says they "really don't have anywhere else to go. Just try having a conversation with one of them about global warming. They'll say, 'Oh, but Rush says volcanoes consume more ozone than humans do.' I mean, they're morons! Total fucking morons!"

"They've got nowhere else to go," Alexander reaffirms with a smile, "and they always vote."

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Facial Recognition

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

New photo software...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Technical Difficulties...

Monday, August 28, 2006

Dahlia pics

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Happy Berfday to ME!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Strict Machine

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Happy Birthday!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

SNAKES on COCAINE!

Friday, August 18, 2006

My best buds...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I'm bored...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

SWEETEST. POST. EVER.

Cheaters!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

It's all about me.

Mommy Blogging

Saturday, August 12, 2006

My Backyard.

Friday, August 11, 2006

My Dear Pets...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Blogging Blahs

Friday, August 04, 2006

Amazingly Accurate...